Remember those hilarious old Debbie Downer Saturday Night Live skits?
She’s the quintessential party pooper – someone who is always suffocating others with their negativity wherever they go. We all know people like this…(or have days when we might be this person ourselves!) So how can you learn to handle these Negative Nancys? Here are three tried-and-true exercises I’ve developed to maintain a positive mood any time, any place.
1. The Energy Shield
Our energy is precious to us. The emotions that we experience day to day clue us into our vibrational energy level. Having a good day? Your vibrational energy is soarin’ high. Bad day? You feel down, your energy level is low. It’s a sign that something is not quite right.
Sometimes being around extraordinary people can impact our energy. You know that girl from high school that was always so positive, so sweet and understanding, that you couldn’t HELP but like her? Her laugh was infectious, she was always helping others, and it seemed effortless. We all know those people and they are living proof of how operating at a high vibration or energy level can positively impact others.
But more often than not, we encounter the OTHER type of energy. Road rage, mopey and complaining people, a cold shoulder from the person at the grocery store checkout line – we’ve seen it all.
While it’s easy to get an energy boost from the positive people in your life, it’s even easier to get sucked into the negative energy of your environment.
Sometimes our negativity can be useful (here’s how to transform your negativity into a path to success ), but more often than not, it can become destructive if not kept in check.
Do you remember having friends in school that started hanging out with “the wrong crowd” and it seemed as if their personality changed? You could hardly recognize this person that you thought you knew so well. That’s because they started to absorb the negative energy of the people around them, and their personal energy began to match their surroundings.
To avoid this, I suggest using what I like to call – “THE ENERGY SHIELD”.
The Energy Shield is a little exercise that I developed based on a particularly grumpy old professor I had back in college. I would come to his class multiple times a week and you could feel the energy of the room shift as soon as you stepped inside. He would gripe and groan about the state of the world today, his aches and pains, the crap work the other classes were doing. (I’m sure he would complain about our work to them as well!) It was overbearing. If I came into the class at a level 8, I left the class feeling a level 5 or 6. It was not something I enjoyed or appreciated.
So, I developed the Energy Shield. Every time that he started to go on a negative rant, I pretended that I could hold up a magic shield around me. His negativity would barrel through the air, right at me, and then it would hit my magic shield and reflect right off of it, until it dissipated into the universe, never to be seen or felt again. It never got near me, not even once! I was now immune to his negativity. And I left the class feeling SO much better!
I regained the power and control over my own energy level this way. Because YOU are the only one that can control your emotional reactions to the situations you encounter. No one can MAKE you sad, or MAKE you mad. You are the one who decides how you will react at any given time.
You can also try varying techniques similar to the Energy Shield. If you work in an office and have an annoying coworker that sits next to you, pretend that there is a force field around your desk or cubicle that keeps their negative energy from entering your space. Or if you get mad while driving, pretend your car has a magic shield around it, so no road rage can enter or impact you. Crowded rush hour Subways got you down? Pretend your skin is the magic shield – everything outside of your body is immune to impacting your vibrational energy. Keeping this in mind works wonders and will keep your positive attitude rockin’ no matter the external conditions you may face.
2. The Siren
I love this one because it’s got a cute story to go along with it. I used to babysit these 2 adorable children on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. They lived close to the 2 nd Avenue Subway line that is currently being constructed, so they would oftentimes hear the loud siren that would signal the MTA is going to initiate the next underground explosion. Both kids HATED that siren – every time we would hear the siren they would complain and complain the entire rest of the afternoon about how loud the siren was, why they didn’t understand why it had to be so loud… on and on… I began to hate the siren too; The siren made my job much more difficult!
So I came up with a game, which I have started using in my own life as well. I told both of the kids that whenever the siren came on, we were going to have some fun. First, we would drop everything that we were doing and we would have a mini dance party. They loved that, any excuse to randomly dance was a good one! Then, we would go around and start talking about our favorite things. The siren was a reminder to enjoy the things that make us most happy. The little boy would talk about Legos and planes and the little girl would talk about rabbits and her doll named “Toy” (She was a no-nonsense type of gal). It was so cute to see them get so excited about their favorite things. And the siren, which once used to be a source of stress, became something they started looking forward to! As soon as the siren rang, they both would dart their eyes at me and our little party would begin.
What are the sirens in your life?
Maybe it’s the rumble of your phone when you get a new work email. You might DREAD that rumble, but now I’m urging you to use it as a reminder to focus on the things that you love. Or maybe it’s another mundane sound or occurrence that you encounter every day, like the ping of the elevator doors opening in your building or every time you encounter a red light or stop sign when driving. Pick something that you encounter everyday that can act as a reminder. I like to think of cute babies (my favorite!) or fun weekend plans. I sometimes reflect on the best part of my day so far or the one thing I’m most grateful for at that moment. It’s a small reminder, but it boosts my mood and therefore, my energy level. Even better if you can pick a reminder that used to make you upset (such as the siren did for the kids) – then you’ve killed two birds with one stone! Not only are you increasing your vibrations, your also eliminating something that used to be a downer for you as well.
3. Back Away Slowly
These tricks are great, but sometimes you need something a bit stronger. No matter how many shields or sirens you implement in your life, there is only so much you can take. So if you recognize that you have reached that level where nothing else is working, I suggest walking away.
You might not be able to remove the negative person or situation, but you CAN remove yourself from its power. Maybe ask your boss if you could switch desks (so you no longer have to sit next to Destructive Dan) or excuse yourself from the room and go outside for a few minutes if you realize that someone is causing you to lose your temper.
Once I was working on a particularly atrocious film and I had reached my absolute boiling point, so I had to take a walk around the block a few times before I could return and finish the project. It allowed me the time to cool down, regain my composure and finish the job that I started. If that’s what you need – take it.
Honestly reevaluate your relationships. You might have a good friend whose everlasting negativity might not be serving you any longer. Have a talk with the friend and see if there’s something deeper that needs to be addressed. If not, it might be time for you both to move on. Only you will know what feels best.
The easiest way to have a positive, high frequency life is to surround yourself with people who are living in the same positive mindset. And honestly, once you’ve reached a place where positive living has become a habit, the universe will provide those people to you. They will be drawn to you like a magnet and you just won’t have room, time or effort for anything less. And even if you haven’t reached that positive, successful level yet – still seek to surround yourself with people who are kickin’ it at life. Surround yourself with all-stars, the type of people that you hope one day you will become, and you will absorb their positive energy. Do this and you will rise to their vibrational level in no time.
You will continue to receive that which you are putting out to the universe. Anytime you allow negativity to be present and impact you and your mood, it’s like you might as well be good ole’ Debbie Downer brunching at the Universe Café. It’s as if you are telling the waiter, “Yes, I’ll have the Negative Nachos with Flat Tire Fajitas and Bad News banana pudding for dessert!” You are given more of what you currently experience – the Universe sees that you are living it and assumes that you want more of it! That’s why it is so important to eliminate any negativity that you can. Start ordering the positive – and you will receive!
What do you do to protect yourself from negative influences? Comment below, I’m excited to hear your thoughts.
Found these tips useful? !