It’s the end of May, almost the beginning of June… aaaaaand you know what that means: WEDDING SEASON. If you’ve felt even the slightest twinge of jealousy or nausea from all those beautiful wedding pictures posted on Facebook, filled with romantic smiling couples of people you maybe spoke to once during high school – then you’ve come to the right place. Instead of looking at romance on a screen, it is YOUR time to experience it firsthand. So long social media- hello soulmate!
This is Part Two of Soultiply’s Sexy Soulmate Series! (I dare you to try to say that three times fast…) The series consists of 4 distinct parts:
PART TWO: Prepping for a Soulmate (That’s this post)
In part two, we will discuss the actionable steps that you can take to prep yourself for a lasting soulmate relationship.
Because that’s the crazy thing…it’s so easy to blame other people or circumstances on why we can’t find “the one”, right?
“There are no good guys in this city!”
“No one is ready to commit!”
“All the people I meet online are just losers…”
Although it might feel like the odds are against you, don’t throw in the towel just yet. It’s time to ditch those excuses and realize that the key ingredient to a soulmate relationship is something that is COMPLETELY under your control.
Know what it is?
Yep, the main key to success in any soulmate journey is the mindset and preparation you bring to the table. You have to be READY to find your soulmate, in order to do so.
How do you know you are ready? Here are some steps you can take to prep for the love of a lifetime:
1. Get Back to the Basics:
I don’t know about you, but I always knew that a romantic relationship would be a priority in my life. I wanted, more than anything, to fall in love and stay there forever. I was a bit boy-crazy growing up, always dating or crushing on someone . So much so, that I never made any time for ME.
And it wasn’t until I nearly had my heart ripped into pieces, that I realized that I was the only one that was going to be able to put them back together.
If you are ready for your soulmate, you need to get back to the basics .
Getting back to the basics is when you cut out the “dependency” you feel about finding a significant other, and you overcome your NEED to be in a relationship.
People can tell the difference between someone who is desperate and someone who is confident in themselves. Very rarely does anyone find desperation attractive, especially when it comes to a soulmate relationship.
Prior to meeting my current boyfriend & soulmate, I was a mess . After several mediocre relationships, and many unsuccessful dates, I found myself talking to a guy that I had vowed years before I would never talk to again. (Anyone else can relate?) He was flirting with me, no one else was knocking at my door, and I thought MAYBE this time it would work. Third time is a charm, right?! (FYI – The answer is ALWAYS no!)
I left New York to visit my family for the holidays, and we text and talked on the phone nonstop. I would stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning, just to see if he would come online. I was groggy the next day, all consumed in the budding relationship, just hoping and forcing it to WORK.
When we both finally returned to the city in the New Year, we decided to see a show together. I was over the moon; here was my chance!
But the date was an absolute disaster. He was late, he turned to talk to someone he knew in the audience (instead of me) during intermission, and at the end of the show, when I thought we were going to go to dinner or at least hang out, he told me that he was going to go to a party with his friends and that they “aren’t very accepting of people outside of their friend group”, so that meant I was not invited.
I was in shock. I had put SO much effort into this, I had spent so much time talking and texting and thinking about him, when I could have been spending time with my family or friends! I had put so many hopes and dreams into this working out; I just didn’t even know how to respond. When he turned to me and said, “So, can we go out again soon?” I told him, “No, that’s never going to happen” and I walked away.
And that’s when I knew that something had to change. I had to get back to the basics .
That very moment I realized that I needed to re-center myself and reorganize my priorities.
That’s when I decided to start, what I called a “Boy Cleanse”. I set up some rules for myself. For an entire month, I would not think about, talk to, or look at a guy with even the slightest romantic intention.
I know it sounds drastic, but I needed some major recalibrating. I needed to get okay with life unattached to romance. I needed to find confidence in myself again. I needed some ME time – some time to reflect, grow up, and give my friends and family some of that love that I was desperately trying to press onto other undeserving people.
And for 30 days, I did just that.
Not going to lie, it was tough! Any time a guy walking down the street wearing a leather jacket would catch my eye, I would silently repeat to myself “God, Friends, Family!” That was my little mantra that reminded me what this month was all about! It’s pretty embarrassing to think about it now, but it’s what I needed at the time.
Because I held onto the false belief that, “I’ll be happy WHEN I find the perfect boyfriend…” but I felt miserable during the process. I knew in my heart that a soulmate journey would be a joyous one, and I knew it wouldn’t be possible unless I was happy with myself first.
And slowly but surely, my romantic mind became a bit more centered. I felt more grounded and focused on other things that brought me joy, things that were not reliant on a relationship.
And I swear to you, only a few short months later, I started dating my current boyfriend of four years and the man I consider my soulmate.
If you feel like you’ve reached desperation mode, do a Boy or Girl Cleanse of your own. Reacquaint yourself to life where you are content with not looking for that special someone, and learn to enjoy the freedom of just being you. Reclaim control over your own happiness! You’ll be astounded by how you feel.
2. Enjoy the Moment:
One of the biggest things I learned from the Boy Cleanse was to enjoy the present moment. When your happiness isn’t based on your relationship status, it’s easy to find joy in the little things.
I realized that it was OKAY to spend time by myself. In fact, I was having a blast!
And it was a wonderful feeling to know that I still had all the time in the world to find my soulmate. Here I was, not actively looking for a soulmate (for the first time in recent memory!) and I was enjoying myself more than I thought possible. Wha t was the rush? As long as I experienced true love in my lifetime , that’s all that I needed. I had all the time in the world.
Take this time to enjoy the things that might be more difficult to pursue when you are in a relationship. Spend time with your friends on a Saturday night. Spend a lazy Sunday reading a really great book or visiting a museum by yourself. Soon enough, your weekends will be spent with your significant other – but for now, take advantage of all the activities you can enjoy alone .
Happiness is independent of your relationship status .
If you can’t learn to have fun by yourself, a relationship won’t change that feeling.
Plus, when you are happy, you will be glowing and radiating positive energy, and the right people will be drawn into your life.
3. Vision Board:
You know I love me some vision boards! After my Boy Cleanse, I was happy, confident, independent, and ready for some good mojo to head my way. I was THROUGH dating a bunch of lame-os who were not going to be careful with my heart. I knew what I wanted out of a relationship, and I set my intention on finding it by creating a vision board.
If you aren’t familiar with how to create a vision board, here’s a quick tutorial .
In order to find my soulmate, I created a vision board filled with pictures, adjectives, activities, etc. that described the type of relationship I was looking for. I had dated around long enough to know what I wanted, so I flipped through magazines until I found pictorial evidence of my ideal partner. When you create your board, every little picture and word should make your heart soar! Once you find all your clippings, paste and collage them onto a piece of poster board, and hang it in a place where you will see it every day.
My roommate must have thought I was a nutcase, because every day I would wake up and I would spend 5 minutes or so looking at my vision board. I would imagine going on fun dates with a person that had all the qualities listed on the board. It was like watching a mini movie in my mind (better than any romantic comedy I had ever seen!). I couldn’t help but feel thankful to the universe that this person was out there, just waiting for me.
When creating your vision board, pretend that you are shopping on the Soulmate version of Amazon.com. Every item that you put on your board is another quality that goes into your Soulmate “shopping cart”. Then, when your vision board is completed, know in your heart that your soulmate is “on the way!”; to be delivered to you in just a matter of time. Creating a Soulmate Vision Board is like signing up for the love version of Amazon Prime; you better bet your Soulmate will be sent to you ASAP!
Vision boards are great if you know what you want in a partner , but what if you don’t?
Then you got some work to do!
The best way to figure out the type of relationship and person that you are looking for is to date around and see. Before I met my soulmate, I spent a good amount of time casually dating. You can learn a lot about a person through conversation over dinner, or catching a drink together.
These dates were fine (nothing to write home about), but they usually taught me one of the most valuable lessons that I could learn: they taught me what I DIDN’T want in a relationship. And if you know what you don’t want – you can often make conclusions on what you might prefer instead. Did your date talk about themselves too much over dinner? You might be looking for someone who is a bit more open-hearted and giving, a good listener.
After each date, go back over the evening’s events in your head and really think about what you did and didn’t enjoy about your time together. Even if he or she wasn’t THE ONE, you are one step closer to honing in on a partner that is right for you.
4. Make Space:
Once you’ve gotten to a good place and you are ready for a soulmate to enter your life – you need to make sure there is space for them!
I mean this in a literal and figurative sense. The way you live your life is sending clues to the universe and to the people around you about the level of commitment you are looking for in a relationship.
After my Boy Cleanse, I read a beautiful book called The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford . It was a great read to get me in the soulmate mindset, but one of the most valuable tips I learned was the importance of making space for a soulmate in my life.
You wouldn’t invite guests over for the weekend and not have a place for them to sleep and relax, right? You wouldn’t offer to drive someone to a party and then not have any form of transportation to get them there, correct? Well, don’t expect to have a working soulmate relationship if you can’t make room for them in your life!
She suggests physically making room for them in your house (ie: saving space in your closet or bureau for their clothing and items, etc…).
But, this could also mean rearranging your schedule so that you will have time and energy to give to your soulmate.
But the most important place to make room for your soulmate is in your heart.
This means taking any necessary last steps to get over your “stuff”; the emotional issues that might be keeping you from loving completely. Seek out therapy, make peace with the past, and ask for forgiveness.
Do ANYTHING to make room in your heart for love. Because a soulmate’s love will need a LOT of space in your heart, and BOY will you be glad you made room for it! The only way I can describe it? Soulmate love will consume you in the best way possible.
For example, my boyfriend and I like to joke about his “wild days” before we started dating. He loved to go out with friends, have a few drinks, and stay out late. Right around the time that we started getting to know each other, he told me that going out all the time was starting to lose its appeal. And once we started our relationship, I asked him why his behavior had completely changed (I hadn’t asked him to stop), and he said that he didn’t see the point anymore, since he had found me. (Awww, I’ll never forget that – it was just the sweetest thing to hear!)
Although he may not have realized it at the time, he was at a point in his life where he was ready to make room for a soulmate. He knew that time and commitment was an integral aspect of a soulmate relationship and he needed to make that space.
What’s something that you feel might need to be changed in your own life, in order to make space for your soulmate?
5. Create a Happiness Soundtrack:
This tip is just icing on the cake, and you’ll thank me later for it! When you are in the process of gaining your independence and self-confidence, overcoming emotional hurdles that have shut love out in the past, and becoming ready and willing for a soulmate relationship – listen to your favorite music non-stop.
Because music that we love strikes a chord in us; our soul’s match the frequency of our favorite songs, and they can be used as an automatic mood-booster paving the way for more good things to come. (Need some more spirit-lifting tricks? Here are some of my favorites ) You will be undergoing a phenomenal, personal change. Your favorite music will lift your spirits and keep you in the positive mindset that you need in order to be ready and willing to find your soulmate.
Do you know how a song can remind you of a particular time in your life? If you create a soulmate soundtrack, these songs will forever bring back the feelings of love in you when you listen to them.
By accident, I was hooked on a set of 4 different songs when I fell in love with my soulmate. Even to this day, if I listen to those same songs, I feel beautiful butterflies in my stomach, just like I did 4 years ago. I can’t help but grin from ear-to-ear when those songs come on, and they remind me of how thankful I am for the love that I found, and continue to feel, everyday.
Create this special soundtrack and let it remind you of all the good that is going to come to you and your future relationship.
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!
Once you’ve completed the steps above – you are on your way to finding a loving soulmate relationship.
Give these steps the time they deserve. It might take you a few weeks; it might take you several months, or more. Don’t judge – just trust that you are doing the proper work to get you to where you want to be. You have all the time in the world, remember!?
Then, you will be fully prepared to find the man or woman of your dreams. Because they are there, just waiting for you.
And don’t forget to check out Part One: Soulmate Basics to find answers to the most common soulmate questions.
Once you feel confident and radiant as a sexy single…it’s time to put that positive mojo to good use! Find out 5 top-notch strategies for meeting your soulmate in Part Three of the Sexy Soulmate Series !
Already in a relationship? Check out Part Four of the Sexy Soulmate Series: Enjoying and Keeping a Soulmate for 8 tips to strengthen your love and keep that spark alive.
In the meantime, happy prepping!