I was having one of those days yesterday where it seems like everything you want to achieve is dependent on other people. Where every customer, every publisher, and every producer feels like a Goalie in some nasty game of soccer; diving to block your every dream with each new play. How can we score a goal with such skilled and talented Gatekeepers? And it’s usually on these days where the control freak in me plans a grand ole’ pity party (usually disguised as procrastination in the form of Netflix and comfy pajamas). But today, I thought it might feel better to make a list of some things to remember when it feels like someone else holds the keys to your dreams. And I wanted to share it here with you, just incase you might be feeling the same way.
I’ve been watching a lot of Dexter lately. It’s a Showtime TV series that centers on a blood splatter analyst who leads a secret life as a serial killer.
I will admit, this show stresses me out .
It’s not that I’m afraid for Dexter (I mean, his name is the title of the show – I doubt they are going to kill him off any time soon…well, wait that was purely a guess … I’m only on the 4th season… oh no… don’t give it away! Dexter be careful! )
I’m stressed because Dexter is AWFUL at organizing his life. I don’t worry about his crimes… I get stressed when he leaves his child with the nanny for too long. I get stressed when he doesn’t show up to work on time because he was off riding in his boat. Mainly, I get stressed because Dexter has tried to divide his life into perfect little pieces (no pun intended… harharhar ), and he finds his life constantly crashing down around him.
Dexter, buddy, can’t you see the full picture!?
Which makes me think, don’t we all try to do the same? We compartmentalize our lives on a daily basis. We have our family, our friends, our romantic partners, our career, our personal development, our homes and our health. We have these segments in our lives that we must juggle, and sometimes it’s easier to divide them into separate entities. Sometimes it seems easier to handle them that way.
But just like Dexter, therein lies a fatal flaw. Here’s why segmenting your life could cost you your happiness and sanity.
We seek to share it with others, we relish in it, we are made of it, and we want more of it. To give and receive love – it’s the best feeling in the world.
But what does love mean to you? How do you feel it; how do you show it?
For me, it’s the act of giving and receiving in overdrive . I picture it like this: Remember when you were a kid and you would spin your straw REALLY FAST in your chocolate milk until you created a mini tornado in your cup? Love is just like that. It’s giving and receiving in a continuous circle, until you get so caught up in it, that you BECOME it. You realize that you ARE love; A tornado of pure, positive energy.
That idea is the exact inspiration behind the Soultiply logo. A sacred circle. Giving and receiving all wrapped into one.
I just love that idea!
But I find this interesting…when most people are asked, “What do you love?” oftentimes they name only physical things.
I love my mother.
I love my brand new puppy.
I love my house.
We know the miraculous power of love, that’s a given. So why don’t we automatically extend these feelings to our non-physical ideas and beliefs in just the same way? Why don’t we make more of an effort to give love to our dreams or to our obstacles? What if we loved the things that don’t yet exist with just as much passion as we do our family and friends? What would become possible?
Four years ago, when my boyfriend and I started dating, I sat him down and told him the blunt, honest truth. I told him, “I cry. A LOT. And I mean a lot. I cry when I’m upset, I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I stub my toe, I cry when I’m stressed. Sometimes, I cry just because I haven’t cried in a while. But I need you to realize, just because I’m crying does not mean that the world is going to end. Do you understand and accept this?” Luckily for me, he did. Crying was part of the contract.
Because I am proud to say that I recognize I am a highly emotional person. And I own it! And if you are having difficulty in day-to-day situations because of your disposition, or you feel guilty for being emotional–breathe a sigh of relief, because IT IS possible to succeed as a highly emotional person. Even if you don’t consider yourself emotional, but you spend lots of time around people who are, there are tips and tricks that you can use to navigate the ups and downs of your relationships.
Remember those hilarious old Debbie Downer Saturday Night Live skits?
She’s the quintessential party pooper – someone who is always suffocating others with their negativity wherever they go. We all know people like this…(or have days when we might be this person ourselves!) So how can you learn to handle these Negative Nancys? Here are three tried-and-true exercises I’ve developed to maintain a positive mood any time, any place.